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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430041">Sin doesn't exist in space.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothman_plays_the_drums/pseuds/Mothman_plays_the_drums'>Mothman_plays_the_drums</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Catholic Guilt, Fluff and Angst, Hongjoong loves the universe, It ends happy tho, M/M, Seonghwa never learned, and the church follows us everywhere, but also Catholic school, everyone hates Seonghwa and no one knows why, space, the universe has been colonized</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:15:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothman_plays_the_drums/pseuds/Mothman_plays_the_drums</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's on one planet, in particular, that Seonghwa disappears from his crew, set to go find his long lost love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sin doesn't exist in space.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'll be real! This was like, four hours of me just working non-stop to the velvety vocals of Take Me To Church by Hozier! Hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Hongjoong asks Seonghwa to kiss him, it feels like something beyond blasphemy, like the hand of God is to literally come crashing down on the two of them in mere moments, just for having said it. He sputters, he coughs, and despite being alone with the boy in their own room, he feels watched.</p>
<p>"What?" He finally asks when his breath finally returns to him. </p>
<p>Hongjoong chuckles, quietly, and for a boy who had requested the outright sinful act so straightforwardly, he blushes as if he could possibly be embarrassed. "I think you heard me, Seonghwa. Please, would you kiss me?" </p>
<p>It's a request that steals his breath right when he's thought he's found it again. It's bad, it must be, that's what he'd been taught, that's what has been lectured and beaten into him since he showed up at this school.</p>
<p>But, Hongjoong is the boy that taught him about the universe, of the stars and of simulated atmosphere, something this Catholic school had never thought was worth his time, not in exchange for Jesus. Hongjoong is so endlessly magnetic, he is so brilliant and caring and… well, if he is asking this of Seonghwa, and Hongjoong has always loved him, then this must be not an act of sin, but an act of love, right? </p>
<p>Obviously, Hongjoong can see the gears shifting in his head, because he leans over the desk they have scooted into the middle of the room for study sessions like this. "Seonghwa, I know what they say," he whispers, "but lately I cannot help but question whether this is truly sin. How can it be, when you, of all the students in this school, are the only person who has made my heart soar. How can finding you as beautiful, and… and so fucking-" a gasp from Seonghwa. "I know, bare with me, Seonghwa. You are so smart, and kind, and honest. I fear I've been falling for you ever since we met, and I can't help but question what sin truly is if something as pure and as wonderful as you, as wanting you, could ever be wrong."</p>
<p>Just like that, Hongjoong's face is captured between Seonghwa's palms and he's tugged farther over the desk to plant his lips onto Seonghwa's.</p>
<p>Seonghwa decides, then and there, that this is no sin. Nothing this good, this sweet and precious could be sin. Sin is not kissing Hongjoong, not like this, not in any form, if anything it's a saving grace. Seonghwa has fallen, too, if Hongjoong were to fall for this. He insists such, later, when Hongjoong begs Seonghwa to be honest and tell him if he'd pushed Seonghwa too far, if this is what he really wants, if he can live with this sin. Hongjoong is love. No, Hongjoong is his love.</p>
<p>It isn't sin, he's sure of it, without a doubt in his mind of stone. And he wants it, more than anything.</p>
<p>Hongjoong, for all his worry, returns that sentiment, with hushed words and hurried kisses. </p>
<p>Seonghwa could never be sin. Seonghwa, who feeds birds on Sunday mornings before church, Seonghwa who has helped every student that needed help with homework (or asks Hongjoong to if he cannot,) Seonghwa, who passed life so peacefully and with kindness is not sin. There is not a universe with a god so twisted that it'd make Park Seonghwa a sin. </p>
<p>They start a relationship, perhaps not under the best of circumstances, with fleeting kisses in empty bathrooms, and long, long talks at night when Seonghwa and Hongjoong are forced to have different roommates, but Seonghwa sneaks in every evening to see him, and a love that must remain unspoken between them.</p>
<p>Hongjoong continues to teach Seonghwa about the universe, the different planets and to which he wants to travel. Seonghwa promises to take him to every planet he learns of when they leave this school, when they finally run away. </p>
<p>That is the goal for them. When they're well into the "college" of this school, and Hongjoong's poor mother has long since passed, they will run away, travel the universe together.</p>
<p>They are seventeen when that dream shatters. </p>
<p>Hongjoong is in the halls when he hears of it, of a boy's diary entries printed out to teach the rest of the school a lesson. He fears that they mean Seonghwa, that the diary speaks of him, and it's only when the headmistress halts all of the chaos in the halls caused by the rumors of a homosexual. </p>
<p>She holds a small, leather bound book in her hand, a small leather book with P. S. H. Carved into the worn spine.</p>
<p>Hongjoong swears his blood runs cold. Not Seonghwa. Not Seonghwa, he laments, he's experienced too much to the mistresses of this school. Too much undeserved discipline. </p>
<p>The headmistress begins to speak, but Hongjoong does not stay to hear it, he knows exactly who and what she will speak of. He knows he'll be harrolded as some kind of poor boy who was sought after by a dirty sinner he wanted nothing to do with. He will not allow it. He will not allow Seonghwa to see himself as a sinner, never again, nor will he allow for whatever punishment the nun and her students would prepare for him.</p>
<p>Hongjoong is, most notably, a kiss-ass. He knows this, and he gets away with so much because of it, things Seonghwa would be whooped for, or worse. If he were to kiss ass, he could turn in the boy sitting on his bed, teary eyed when he enters. </p>
<p>He knows he could never.</p>
<p>Not when that teary eyed boy is his lover, and the closest he can get to truly reprimanding Seonghwa's recklessness is soft fingers brushing his cheek to wipe away his tears and a small, quiet, "it's okay. We made a mistake, but it's okay." </p>
<p>"It- it's not-'' he stutters, chest heaving in his attempts to breathe. Hongjoong feels helpless in aiding his boy, only ever thinking to let him continue, to look him in the eye, and hold him "I don't k-know if they- have they assumed you to be the same? Hongj- I have doomed us both!"</p>
<p>"You have not," Hongjoong tells him, as sternly as he thinks he's ever talked to Seonghwa, "now, you listen. I refuse to let you stay here and shoulder abuses from men and women who think you to be a sinner simply for existing. You'll leave here tonight, I promise you, my darling. I have a plan."</p>
<p>"Are we not?"</p>
<p>"Are we not what?"</p>
<p>"Sinners?" He shouldn't say it, Seonghwa knows, for normally he does not believe it. He couldn't ever truly believe that loving Hongjoong is a sin, but now? Hiding from the hell that awaits him not too far from his hiding spot? It's easy for a low, self destructive part of him to convince him that is what they both are. Dirty sinners.</p>
<p>Hongjoong pulls him into the softest of kisses then, quick and emotional, before he yanks himself away to glare Seonghwa down. "Don't you dare let those words ever leave your mouth again, Seonghwa." And then, his expression softens, and Seonghwa is brought to tears all over again. Hongjoong doesn't mind, and continues as he wipes Seonghwa's tears, "I will give you what remains of my money, I know you have none. Leave this planet as soon as you can, and find a crew or a family you can travel with so that you may stay safe. Travel the universe for me."</p>
<p>"What of you, Hongjoong?" </p>
<p>"I told you, Seonghwa." Hongjoong presses their foreheads together. "I cannot leave my mother. When she… god, Hwa." </p>
<p>"I know, Hong," Seonghwa whispers, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I promise you, as soon as you are able, I will come for you."</p>
<p>"As you should, one can only handle so much within this prison," Joong chuckles. "Now, go, please, before they start looking for answers." </p>
<p>Thus, Seonghwa climbs out of Hongjoong's window, about to begin his run to freedom when Hongjoong grabs his hand. </p>
<p>"Seonghwa, I know I've said it to you at least a million times, but… but, I love you. And-" </p>
<p>"And you are the holiest of beings to enter this world by me." </p>
<p>It knocks the air out of Hongjoong. Enough so to make his long held tears fall when he finally lets go of his Love's hand, lets him free, and is left to deal with the fallout.</p>
<p>He stopped believing in this church's God long ago, but tonight he prays for Seonghwa's safe passage, as well as his return one day, if Hongjoong is truly good.</p>
<p>He spends five years wondering, waiting, visiting his ailing mother. He joins the choir that Seonghwa was so good at, two years after the incident. It's stupid to, as it gives him no pleasure, none of the relief that he hoped it would, to be in the same pews Seonghwa sat in every Sunday, singing hymns that he could sing wonderfully on his own. </p>
<p>It just doesn't feel right anymore, but then again, Hongjoong has learned that without love nothing feels right.</p>
<p>It's five long years that he spends missing Seonghwa in pained silence, but he doesn't, for even a second, doubt that he was only right for loving Seonghwa.</p>
<p>And, when it all finally comes, when he is singing in the high pews of the choir and sees his love, his Seonghwa through the stained glass of the church windows, he knows, because what other man could look like art in front of a place like this?</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>humanity has long since expanded from earth; the universe has been our oyster and we have eaten it, spreading out across galaxies and creating environments to fit us should a planet not already. The universe is infinite, and as such, ever since we left, is Humanity's constant need for growth. </p>
<p>Seonghwa has traveled it in depth, as many planets as he and his crew could touch down on. Of course, he had to work hard, how else would he get across the universe? But it's been worth it. The universe holds so much technology, science, slang, religion, culture. Seonghwa has seen every bit of it.</p>
<p>Somehow, still, Someone found use for Catholic schools like the one Seonghwa had grown up in.</p>
<p>It's been years since he's seen it, the old stone building with big, church like steps. It was built with the same architecture techniques as the ancient earth cathedrals, and like those Hwa often saw in pictures, it loomed over him like a threat; like blackmail. I know who you are.</p>
<p>Seonghwa thought he stopped being afraid after he left the giant school, but now, as he sits with his back to the looming doors listening to the choir inside (he was once a part of that choir,) his chest squeezes. He can't breathe.</p>
<p>If only the boy he'd met, years ago, were here to see him.</p>
<p>He'd say that Seonghwa looked like art, lying across the steps, held dropped back and resting on his elbows in his off-the-planet fashion.</p>
<p>Hongjoong would kiss him and marvel at the site, as if he himself weren't an Earthian work of art more glorious than this entire cathedral.</p>
<p>He may still be in there, Seonghwa notes. He'd only ever told Seonghwa to run, never quite sure of running for himself. It was always when it concerned his mother that he ever doubted himself.</p>
<p>He could still be in there, Seonghwa winces at the thought. He may be in there, listening to that damned choir, suffering over his lost love. Or, maybe, he's found another, someone else to love and be loved by, maybe even a nice girl.</p>
<p>It pains Seonghwa to even think that as he has travelled the universe, truly only lying in wait for the day he could come take his love far away from this place. </p>
<p>"I promise I'll wait for you, Seonghwa. I cannot leave my mother here on this planet, not alone. When she... Travel the universe for me, show it to me when we can run away from here together."</p>
<p>Seonghwa has done exactly what he and Hongjoong had planned to do. He has wanted to show Hongjoong every single thing he's learned because he knows his darling would love nothing more than to know every single thing about the universe he loves so much. Seonghwa has been oh, so patient in waiting. He couldn't contact Hongjoong, lest he also get outed for his affections, and so, as morbid as it was, Seonghwa checked the obituaries of this planet weekly. Poor Mrs. Kim, for as kind as she was, was a sickly woman. </p>
<p>How did she suffer through five years, Seonghwa wonders?</p>
<p>He doesn't even know if he'll find Hongjoong here, if he's even on the planet, if he's even....</p>
<p>But Hongjoong would wait for him, he knows. Hongjoong would wait a thousand years, would force himself to live that long to hear from Seonghwa again, he loved too hard not too.</p>
<p>It's Seonghwa's turn to wait here, on the steps of this chapel, this church. Like Hongjoong has for years, Seonghwa must wait. Be patient and trust his lover's return to him.</p>
<p>There is no universe where Hongjoong would leave him, and though he hadn't gotten proof, like a religion, he trusts in Hongjoong's word.</p>
<p>Rain starts to fall. The choir quiets. Seonghwa holds his breath, and he does not believe in this religion, but how he prays that the priest isn't somehow his Hongjoong is nothing less than a beg to God for enough forgiveness to bring the boy back to him.</p>
<p>"Seonghwa?" </p>
<p>He brings his head up, whips to find the source of the call, the sweet melody that is his name coming from one man's lips. It always sounds like it drips with sugar.</p>
<p>He's holding a hymnal and wearing a look of pure euphoria when Seonghwa's eyes rake over him for the first time in far too many years. His uniform is already disheveled, a method of rebellion he learned from Seonghwa, the sneaky boy.</p>
<p>The sight is heavenly. More than heavenly, it's devilish. Somehow it's the combination of holy angels and roguish demons, and it has Seonghwa's lungs seizing for air.</p>
<p>"Hongjoong..." He whispers, unable to do so much more than breathe the boy's name like he had in his sleep for years. </p>
<p>"Seonghwa!" That sweet voice, Hongjoong's sweet, glorious, heavenly voice calls his name once again, and while Seonghwa crawls to his feet at the steps the lost boy throws himself into his seeker's arms. Hwa can feel the desperate shake of Hongjoong, even after he settles into his lover's arms like he's returning home, and he hears the hymnal drop to the ground, a holy but terrifying sound.</p>
<p>That was supposedly a sin, and on the church steps of all things. </p>
<p>Oh, how many supposed sins had they committed before they'd been ripped apart? What is one more before Seonghwa steals Hongjoong away from this place?</p>
<p>Hongjoong pulls back, and it pulls a grunt of dissent from Hwa before their lips meet.</p>
<p>If Seonghwa thought euphoria was Hongjoong's face when they finally saw each other again, he fears he must've forgotten Hongjoong's kiss. </p>
<p>This must be the most desperate they've ever been for each other in over a decade. Oh, what torture had it been to hold back then, and how torturous the past five years have been. </p>
<p>"I thought you'd never come, Seonghwa, I-" he breathes between barely-kisses, "I feared you'd never return for me, that I'd never blame you for, but it scared me-" perhaps, Seonghwa thinks, he isn't breathing. "All the same."</p>
<p>"I'd never leave you here to fend for yourself, Joong. Never, ever, in a million years could I," Seonghwa answers, breaking his kiss to hold Hongjoong in his arms once more.</p>
<p>"You haven't an idea how much I've missed you."</p>
<p>"If it's anything like how I've been missing you, I'd hate to hear about it." </p>
<p>Hongjoong laughs, and it's like Seonghwa has fallen all over again. From grace, for a boy with black hair (that he's always wanted to be blue,) and the most gorgeous music, and that brilliant laugh. </p>
<p>"Your manner of speaking has changed, my love. It's interesting, I love it."</p>
<p>"It's a by-product of the rest of the universe. No one understands how we speak here. They call it medieval."</p>
<p>"I suppose they won't like me much, then, hmm?" </p>
<p>"My crew? They'll love you, anyone would, everyone will."</p>
<p>"You're too kind." </p>
<p>"I'm only telling the truth, doll." Seonghwa chances, once again, pulling away infinitesimally to caress Hongjoong's face and really, truly, finally look at him.</p>
<p>His eyes are wild, this cathedral would never truly hold him. And God, his cheeks are flushed, and his uniform is even further mussed up, and Seonghwa was taught from a young age that this was sin, that they were monsters, that anyone that loved like this was doomed to damnation.</p>
<p>Still, Seonghwa refused. How loving a man like Hongjoong could ever be anything less than praising someone holy was beyond him, so far an impossibility in Seonghwa's life.</p>
<p>Before, where only darkness had lingered before, his light and his love finally returns to him, like he's finding religion once again in a boy's beautiful eyes.</p>
<p>"Shall we go?" Hongjoong whispers against his lips, "I have yet to meet this crew of yours, and to hear more of this new accent from you."</p>
<p>Seonghwa is finally pulled to the reality of this. An escape, this is an escape. "Don't you need clothes?" </p>
<p>"I need not for what they have for me here. It represents only the years of that which left me broken and alone. I'm ready to be free." </p>
<p>And Seonghwa is helpless but to kiss Hongjoong once again, deep and longingly, and so full of want that Seonghwa is sure it borders on public indecency here, before he pulls away and whispers to him, "you've always made my clothes look better anyway." </p>
<p>And then they run far away, far from the chapel they both once suffered through, loved in, rebelled against. No longer do either long for the other at night, there's nothing to long for (and Hongjoong does, truly, make Seonghwa's clothes look much more attractive.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope y'all voted inception Seongjoong prolly voted inception</p></blockquote></div></div>
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